Need to focus

I just re-read my blog. I haven't really looked at the 50 powerful questions. I feel so overwhelmed, trying to keep up with everything. The pain is pretty much there in my joints. I feel like I am coming down with a virus.

Sunday night, I had my second session with my client. I focus on listening to her, and then formed questions, after I heard her. It really worked. I found, as they said in Powerful Listening, that if you just listen to your clients, and really care about them, the questions we need to ask will come automatically. What a difference that made. I really felt a connection.

Today's class was Responsibility vs. Blame. "Responsibility is asking: What have I done to cause or impact this? And what can I do about it?" Coachfucious

Many times, our family members, or clients, friends, etc. take on a victim role, by assigning blame to someone else. Not taking responsibility for their role. We learned different techniques on how to handle these occurrences. Sigmund Freud said that"Most people do not want freedom, because freedom means responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility." Instead of using the word responsibility, we could say "Ownership" That makes sense, and is not as scary. I feel that it makes one feel more powerful, and in control of their choices. It sounds less like blame. It interferes with our trust. We are making judgements, such as, this is a bad thing. We feel judged, that we are not being responsible people, which has a bad connotation. I like that better. I will try to use that term more often during my coaching sessions.

I guess I should start with my own reflection.

List 3 things for which you are taking responsibility in your life?

1.My weight issue
2.My success as life coach
3.My families happiness, and well being

List 3 things for which you blame yourself or others.

1.My extended families' issues
2.My inablity to practice self care
3.My paranoia that people don't like me, and I lack self-confidence

For each issue you answered in number two: What are three ways you could have contributed to each one.

1.I allowed myself to take total responsibility for them (I let them put me down, or accepted their beliefs about me.
2.I started to feel that I had no time, and did not deserve to take the time out.
3.I didn't think highly of myself, or trust in my abilities

For each issue, what is one thing you can now do about it, if anything?
1.Set boundaries
2Be more conscience of the responsibilty I have to myself to take care of me. Relax and enjoy the process.
3.Think out of my comfort zone, take risks, and know that failure is part of succeeding. It is okay to fail. Not to try is automatic failure.

Pick 3 events in your life which you cannot-are not not willing to -take full responsibility.

1. Father disconnecting himself from me and my husband
2.MIL going into depression (feeling alone)
3.Fall of the Chesed organization

Find at least one way in whih in each situation you acted as an accomplice

1.Trying to help, by consulting professionals
2.Not visiting or calling enough
3.Giving up, because of an antagonist.

Responsibilty means to me:Taking care of my family, being honest with myself, and others, taking care of the house. Working to make money. Listen to my family. Carry out my committments. taking care of myself

I am grateful for being able to get out of bed, and pursue my goals.