Need to focus

I just re-read my blog. I haven't really looked at the 50 powerful questions. I feel so overwhelmed, trying to keep up with everything. The pain is pretty much there in my joints. I feel like I am coming down with a virus.

Sunday night, I had my second session with my client. I focus on listening to her, and then formed questions, after I heard her. It really worked. I found, as they said in Powerful Listening, that if you just listen to your clients, and really care about them, the questions we need to ask will come automatically. What a difference that made. I really felt a connection.

Today's class was Responsibility vs. Blame. "Responsibility is asking: What have I done to cause or impact this? And what can I do about it?" Coachfucious

Many times, our family members, or clients, friends, etc. take on a victim role, by assigning blame to someone else. Not taking responsibility for their role. We learned different techniques on how to handle these occurrences. Sigmund Freud said that"Most people do not want freedom, because freedom means responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility." Instead of using the word responsibility, we could say "Ownership" That makes sense, and is not as scary. I feel that it makes one feel more powerful, and in control of their choices. It sounds less like blame. It interferes with our trust. We are making judgements, such as, this is a bad thing. We feel judged, that we are not being responsible people, which has a bad connotation. I like that better. I will try to use that term more often during my coaching sessions.

I guess I should start with my own reflection.

List 3 things for which you are taking responsibility in your life?

1.My weight issue
2.My success as life coach
3.My families happiness, and well being

List 3 things for which you blame yourself or others.

1.My extended families' issues
2.My inablity to practice self care
3.My paranoia that people don't like me, and I lack self-confidence

For each issue you answered in number two: What are three ways you could have contributed to each one.

1.I allowed myself to take total responsibility for them (I let them put me down, or accepted their beliefs about me.
2.I started to feel that I had no time, and did not deserve to take the time out.
3.I didn't think highly of myself, or trust in my abilities

For each issue, what is one thing you can now do about it, if anything?
1.Set boundaries
2Be more conscience of the responsibilty I have to myself to take care of me. Relax and enjoy the process.
3.Think out of my comfort zone, take risks, and know that failure is part of succeeding. It is okay to fail. Not to try is automatic failure.

Pick 3 events in your life which you cannot-are not not willing to -take full responsibility.

1. Father disconnecting himself from me and my husband
2.MIL going into depression (feeling alone)
3.Fall of the Chesed organization

Find at least one way in whih in each situation you acted as an accomplice

1.Trying to help, by consulting professionals
2.Not visiting or calling enough
3.Giving up, because of an antagonist.

Responsibilty means to me:Taking care of my family, being honest with myself, and others, taking care of the house. Working to make money. Listen to my family. Carry out my committments. taking care of myself

I am grateful for being able to get out of bed, and pursue my goals.

Keep on going

What am I doing up at this hour. I am so excited about ICA, that I have trouble falling asleep. I'm taking classes at 9:00 PM.

I am grateful for my family, and the close bond we share.

I just got my first needs and values sheet from my client. I'm not sure how to implement it in the coaching sessions. I will see how it evolves. I also got a new client for a free trial session. I need to get my business started, by first checking out what I need for zoning. I don't know why I am procrastinating about it. Perhaps there is a UAC hanging around, that is telling me, I am not capable of becoming successful. My business coach has been telling me, that our state of mind is very important in connection to our wins, or losses. I am a winner, so I have to get rid of that UAC and, reframe my thinking.I notice that I sit up straight when I think of the positive. I know it will come. Every night I have to tell myself that I am committed to this. Okay, I'm going to go to sleep now. I'll so some homework questions tomorrow. I just needed to get my feelings out on paper.

I have made a decision. I will start tomorrow with the 50 powerful questions, and answer one each night.

Evelyn

Random thoughts

Tonight I am coaching my first client. Of course it is pro bono and a friend. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm feeling better than I was during my last post. I have more self confidence. I know that i will get more with practice. I wasn't up to doing anything today, because I don't feel great. My joint pain is worse, and I'm trying to lay low. I weighed myself this morning, and gained 2 more pounds. I feel so cheated. I am petrified of ballooning up again, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.. I realized today, that the endocrinologist lowered my thyroid medication. I wonder if there is a common denominator here. Once again, no one believes me that it is my thyroid. This is not a coincidence.

I'm trying to find the good in this. I can't. My confidence in myself has eroded. I have no control over my own body. Unbelievable. I don't know what else to do. I'll have to call the doctor, and hope that he really listens to me, as we are taught in ICA. I don't think he understands the problem. I don't understand the problem. All I know was that I was feeling better while on the higher dose. Lowering my prednisone to 2 1/2 should not make such a drastic difference. If anything, I should be losing the weight, that I put on, when I started with the prednison.

I am trying to incoporate, the lessons of doubt vs. trust into my life. I am trying to be more trusting, believing that everything will work out. Hard to believe this situation will. I know I should try to shift my perspective. I can't. I could commit to it, as in the module of comittment vs. trying. I don't think in this case there is anything I can tell myself. I did discuss it with my own Life Coach. Couldn't come to any conclusions either. She tried of course, to "help" me figure out different ways to overcome the weight gain. I already worked hard on it. I don't think there is any UAC's that I am not aware of. Maybe I'm not aware of any. Maybe, they do exist, and that is what is keeping me back. I am so tired of fighting this never winning battle. I know I have to have compassion for myself. I hate thinking that the medical world will blame me. I'm not working out enough, I'm eating too much. I am honest with myself, and keep track of everything. I am doing everything I can, and it's still not working. This is not in my control, as it is, if my body was behaving. Maybe I will try to take an AC class. Nothing there.

Time to put my learning to use

Okay, not an easy day today. Somehow I am filled with doubt. The doubt vs. trust power tool. All of a sudden my child is second guessing himself. I'm trying to use my new tools to help him, and empower him to trust more, and therefore make a decision that is good for him. He has all the answers to my questions, but cannot implement them. I feel like a failure. I have to keep telling myself that it will all work out. I need to have some gratitude. Instead I am bored, and this leads me to worrying too much, and to get in and fix it for him. He has to make his own conclusions, and I pray that he does. I don't know why, but I feel that it is my fault that he doesn't. I don't even feel like visiting my father who feels all alone. I am glad I am beginning to journal, because it helps me get my feelings out into the open. I guess, I am in a lot of pain today, so that doesn't help. I'll try to come back later with some gratitude.

One week down

Whew, I thought I lost my blogg. Okay, i found it.

I am grateful for the strength that I have, even though I am in pain to entertain my friends, and cook meals for my family.

I have a peer coach for my business. He explained that it is not as hard as I think it is. He is right. I worry too much. I need more self-confidence, and I will be fine. It was really cool, how he did some physiology exercises. They really helped.

I had my first trial session, which was pro bono. I was a little stiff at first, but I know it takes practice. We learned that listening is the most important aspect of coaching. Just listening, and reflecting back to our client makes them feel safe. I am confident I will build a good practice, and get referrals. After all, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Whatever that means. If I can coach someone who needs more self confidence, I can coach myself. I have to value myself, before I can value others. So, if I want to be an effective coach who helps people shift negative perspectives about themselves, I better start with me.


Okay, I had a big weekend, and I am exhausted. Tomorrow is another day. A new beginning. Find a job you enjoy, and you will never have to work another day in your life. Confucius

I'm really going to enjoy my work

1st homework assig. for ICA

I have not been to good at posting answers on the ICA board yet. I guess I am self conscience, and know I have to start somewhere. So here I go.

FC105 Getting Started
Reflection and Application.
This is a good beginning, because it is all about starting my coaching practice. I am really going to get off the fence, and start becoming accountable and committed. So:
Q. #1 What would you like to do for people?

I would like to enable people to feel secure in themselves, and become proactive, leading them to a fullfilling life.

What gifts do you have to offer, as a coach, that can make people become impowered?

Good listening skills, compassion, good judgement, good intuition. I am gifted with 3 children. I am working on becoming stronger, and more secure in listening with my heart, and without judging. To be present with people and where they are at.

#2. Why are you a coach?

I enjoy working with people, and motivating them to reach their full potential, so they can be comfortable, and happy with their lives.

What is the drive behind coaching for you to make things happen for people?

I know what it is like to feel insecure, and not accomplish what I want to for various reasons. I am fascinated with how minds work, and would like to help them to accomplish their dreams. I feel that this world would be a better place if people were able to think clearly, and be comfortable with themselves. I would love to enthuse, and motivate them to get results.

Starting Your Coaching Practice
1.Name three specific goals you would like to achieve in your coaching practice by the end of six months.

Have my office fully set up.
Have 10 paying clients
Learn how to market my business

2.Write down the ideas that come to mind.
I need to find out how much the going rate is in my area. 7/07
I would like to have my model so I can begin coaching for real. 10/07
I would like to charge the 1/2 of the going rate 10/7
I would like to graduate from ICA in June of '08

3.What would be your 3 month milestone?
Having 10 paying clients, with my coaching model in the works.

4.What are your three biggest barriers or fears around becoming a coach?
Not being successful
Making mistakes with my clients
Biting off too much than I can chew, and being unrealistic

5.What are my to top 3 objectives in building a successful practice?
Fulfilling my life's dream
Being able to charge what I am worth
Enjoying my profession

Discussion
1.Discuss my doubt loop
Second guessing myself
2.How would you break the cycle and begin to feel confident about coaching?
Have an action plan and a strategy

reflection

Okay, I guess it is time to try to start reflecting. Our reaction vs. response class was very interesting. Our moderator did not show up, so one of the students led the teleclass. My first reaction was "Oh no, what do I do now?" No one had picked up, and all I heard was music. I tried calling back again, instead of just giving up. Last time this happened I became frantic because I wanted to have the class. I ended up calling the wrong bridgeline. I thought I did the same thing this time. Lo and behold, one of the students was moderating, and she did a fantastic class. We discussed the difference between reaction and response, and how to deal with a client that was reacting in a negative way. I guess we have to learn how to lead a client to understand her/his reaction to a given situation, especially if it keeps occuring. From reading the module, I am able to do this with myself. Sometimes, it's UAC, which is causing the reaction, and sometimes it is just a reaction. I guess I learned that it doesn't have to have a UAC in order to be a reaction. It can just be, because of our feelings. We do have to step back, or help our client step back, in order to think of a response, so we can take action, instead of becoming powerless, in the way we handle a situation. This in turn will empower us to make healthy positive decisions, when we need to. Especially in crisis. Anyway, that is what I took out from the class. I was also impressed with the student, Lassandre. It was hard to hear, but I think that is her name.

One thing I am grateful for is my water aerobics class. I twisted my ankle, (not too badly), and know I can still exercise. I guess the other thing I am grateful for, was the fact that I am not too sore. Yey,

Whoops, didn't get a chance last night to reflect on my gratefulness. So today, I will add two.

I am grateful for my good friends, who keep me positive.

I am grateful for ICA which keeps me sane, and makes me feel that I am accomplishing. I have a lot of reading to do, and need to learn how to reflect.

I am reading for my class in reaction vs response. It makes a lot of sense, and I get to apply it to a lot of things. It makes me shift back to positive feelings, where I can respond, and figure out something constructive, instead of reacting, and just getting nothing accomplished, but feeling inadequate, and hopeless. One example is my doctor going through the beginning steps with me. When I first had these thyroid issues, I tried everything, including a special diet, suggested by a naturalpath. It didn't work then, and i doubt it will work now. Instead of reacting from anger, I need to figure a new way of dealing with this. Maybe the different meds he gave me will help this time. I will be positive. I have to be.

So far so good

Yesterday was our 26th anniversary. It's not so easy, but worth sticking with it. Love definately conquers all. No matter how difficult things got, I refocused and remembered why we got married in the first place. Nothing is perfect. I think you could say that about anything that we want to accomplish in life. Positivity, reframing, shifting perspective, and being grateful without judgement opens us up to countless wins in life. I am constantly getting discouraged by my aches, and am looking where ever I can for a cure. Until then, my family needs me, and I need me. The time will come when we will get to the bottom of this nonsense. I will try to stay positive, and be grateful using as
many of the tools, that I learned about in ICA. I will not only integrate them in the work with my clients, but with me as well. It's a little harder trying to get my family to let me try and coach them.LOL I'll keep trying. Communication is like that. When we open our minds to listen, all sorts of things come out. Then I swoop in, and ask the hard questions.

Last night, I brought a welcome packet to my friend, who agreed to be my client. Even if it is pro bono, it is a wonderful opportunity for both she and me. Now her daughter wants coaching. It seems that a lot of people have heard of this, and want to jump on the bandwagon. By the way, my friend loves it, and the questions that make her think. I wonder how this will go. I am so grateful for a wonderful coach, who shares her tools with me. I think I will incoporate one thing that I am grateful for every night into this blog.

Okay, gotta go start my day. I have water aerobics
Evelyn

What am I doing????

Yes, I can do it. I am totally computer illiterate, but can follow instructions. Okay, this is a test run.

"Oh the places we go" What a great beginning. ICA has taught me so much, I plan to go far.

I am working on my elevator speech which takes practice, practice, practice, and more, to be able to explain to future clients what my purpose in their lives will be. What can I do for them? Hmmm... Let's see. "I will empower you to find yourself, and define who you are. Help you get off the fence, move forward, realize your visions, and motivate you to take action. No matter how much time you are given on earth, you will know in your heart that you have accomplished everything you were meant to do. I will guide, and cheer you on, leading to recognize your ability to let go of me, and fly on your own. You will own you." Sign up with me, and we will walk the path together, and I will show you how you will accomplish this.

This is only my beginning.